Photos: @Jess.Amburgey
When Katie and John Daly realized they couldn’t have more children because of infertility, they thought adoption would be the next best option. But they lost hope after an adoption agency counselor told them they would not be good candidates for adoption from an agency, because they already had two children. She encouraged them to consider fostering instead. “We listened to what she had to say but we left the meeting still wanting to grow our family. I got into the car and cried and my husband said: ‘We may not be called to adopt.’ We knew we were not going to adopt from an adoption agency. Nothing felt right,” says Katie.
Searching for direction, Katie and John prayed a novena consisting of nine consecutive days of prayer. “You pray to a saint and ask them to intercede for you. We prayed to Saint Therese of Lisieux. When she takes your prayers to God, she will give you a rose to let you know God got your prayers. So we started this novena and said if we get a red rose, we are just going to be happy with our two kids, but if we get a yellow rose, we will foster.”
“God opened the door – and he opened it really wide for us”
While on a run with a friend, she detected the smell of roses and as they turned the corner, they saw a large yellow rosebush. Katie immediately called her husband and told him they would become foster parents. After completing the foster parent certification process through St. Joe’s, they received a notification about Journey, a baby girl with Down syndrome. They submitted their home for placement and were selected, but shortly after receiving the call about Journey, Katie’s ob-gyn recommended she have surgery. Their situation got complicated.
John thought fostering a child under those circumstances would be problematic for them, so they chose not to go through with the placement. “I cried and cried. Just the pain of infertility and the pain of not having this child I thought would be perfect in our home … I couldn’t work through it. John ended up calling a St. Joe’s worker and said: ‘I think I made the wrong decision.’”
The two agreed that if Journey returned as an available placement, they would request to foster her. Katie thought they wouldn’t have another shot, but one week later, Journey’s status changed. The foster family she had been placed with caught covid and the insurance provider would not allow Journey to stay in the hospital any longer, so she returned to the state for placement. Katie submitted the request for Journey and to their surprise, they were selected again. “I was crying walking into the hospital, because I couldn’t have been more excited to meet our daughter,” she says.
Communicating with your bio kids matters
“When the boys came in, they just stared at her in complete awe. They were instantly in love with her. My oldest son Jack had been praying for them to have a little sister. That was their sister from the moment she came into the house, and they had so much love for her.”
Five months before Lulu’s mom voluntarily terminated parental rights, she told Katie that she wanted the couple to adopt her daughter. Knowing this ahead of time, they immediately began talking with the kids about their plans to adopt which made the transition much easier. Katie and John adopted Journey in April 2023 and changed her name to Lulu with her namesake being Saint Therese of Lisieux.
“Lulu has made us a better family”
Fostering a special needs child isn’t without its challenges, but Katie says being able to do it together helps. “She has taught us to find joy in the little things, because she finds joy in everything. We have come together as a family to support her needs and celebrate every achievement she makes.” And seeing Lulu have a developmental breakthrough makes them proud. “It is such a bigger deal because there has been so much work that has gone into achieving the milestone. It took a lot of work to get her to roll or drink from a cup but when she did those things it made it much more exciting.” Katie describes Lulu as being a “joy filled, loving little girl,” who keeps the family laughing. Her favorite game is peek-a-boo and when she sees John, she starts clapping and cheering.
Their advice for those considering fostering to adopt
Katie says they still have their home open for foster care placement, because they get joy from knowing they’re helping a child. “Don’t let fear hold you back. We were so afraid of fostering because of all of this stuff you hear, but it has been the most beautiful journey we could have ever gone on as a family. All they are looking for is love and all you have to do is love them.”
P.S. Our St. Joe’s kids need loving people who are willing to be foster care parents or respite providers. Want to know more? Come see us at the Community Health Fair September 23, 10am-2pm on the Holy Trinity St. Matthews campus, or contact Lisa Barber-Atwell (alicab@sjkids.org) for more details.
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