This month, we will feature nine adoptive moms who prove that love transcends a biological connection. Read their stories and become inspired to make a difference in the lives of foster kids.
Lyndsey Taylor, mother of Taylor Trent
What is your fondest memory of being Taylor’s mom?
I need to just say I have loved being Taylor’s mom every single day she has been with me. However, one of my fondest memories would be the day we moved her into her dorm for college. Although it was also one of my saddest days ever, I was so proud of her for achieving her goal of college and for being so brave and independent in that moment.
How has this experience changed you?
I feel like I have been given this gift that I never even knew I wanted or needed. Taylor has taught me a whole different kind of joy when I think about my life. She truly brings me such happiness. This experience truly brings me such happiness. Originally, fostering gave me a purpose. Then eventually it taught me selflessness and how it feels to truly love someone. I credit Taylor for making me a better human being. She taught me patience, forgiveness and that it’s okay to let others take care of you sometimes.
What has motherhood taught you about yourself?
Despite saying for years “I don’t want kids,” or “I don’t have that maternal instinct,” motherhood taught me I was absolutely wrong. I was made for motherhood. My whole life has been about serving and protecting others, and making others feel included and like they matter in this world. That is exactly what motherhood should be about. “Motherhood” taught me I was 100% supposed to be a foster mother. Now isn’t that ironic.
What would you like for new foster/adopt moms to know? Is there any advice you would like to give? With these kids (and all kids), it’s OK to not have all the answers, it’s OK to mess up, it’s OK to say you messed up and that you are sorry. It shows them you are just like them, human – flawed and accountable. Just be there for them. And when they mess up or act out, instead of getting angry, taking it personal and immediately seeking to punish…try to look at things through their lens – the lens with their history, their trauma, their life experiences, and not yours. I promise these actions aren’t without reason. It’s so hard sometimes, but if we can take our pride out of play and really look deep and seek feedback from these kids, the key to a successful placement and adoption is often right there in front of us. I am speaking with no judgment and from my own personal experience both with failing and succeeding with this advice.
Thanks for sharing Lyndsey!
P.S. Making a difference in the lives of our SJ families and kids is simple: donate, become a respite provider, or a foster parent.
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