“It was a very long road (1124 days or three years) but we are grateful to have them on the other side of this. There were so many twists and turns, but the constant was always St. Joe’s."
Last month, Lauren Vincent became the legal parent of Brielle, (3) and Max (8). She talks about the joy of parenthood and what lies ahead for the family.
What has your foster to adopt journey been like? Adoption was never my intention going in. I was open to adoption in the future but truly hoped to work with families towards reunification. I knew this would be hard and heartbreaking at times, but it was something I was willing to accept to help a child and family in crisis. However, when we knew reunification was not possible there was no doubt my kids were going to stay with me forever. It was a very long road (1124 days or three years) but we are grateful to have them on the other side of this. There were so many twists and turns, but the constant was always St. Joe’s. The team’s unwavering support was what truly got us through the tough days. I will never forget the ways they advocated for my kids and the support they gave me.
What new discoveries have you unearthed about yourself and your kids? Adoption feels like a huge weight is finally lifted. To have my children have the forever family they deserved was such a precious gift. I truly believe it’s a new start to healing for all of us. I think the big thing is we knew adoption didn’t necessarily change our day-to-day life but it did give us a sense of peace that we all needed. My kids’ story isn’t over and I’m so grateful that we can continue to see our team at St. Joe’s for therapy to continue our healing journeys.
Tell me about the day your children knew they would be officially adopted. What did they say or do? After the TPR (termination of parental rights) hearing, I drove home in tears. It was without a doubt the hardest day of my life because it was the day a chapter closed for my kids, and I knew the weight of that. I went home and my sister-in-law made shirts for both my kids that read “Peace out foster care.” That evening, I gave them the shirts and explained that they would be adopted. It wasn’t a shock as we had been discussing this for months in therapy. My son (8 years old) immediately jumped up and down in excitement. He told me many months before that he wanted to be adopted so to see his excitement was so sweet! On adoption day as our attorney asked me to say the names of my children after adoption, I began crying. My son proudly took over saying his new name for the entire room to hear!
How did you feel the moment the judge made it official? It was such a relief. In tears I leaned over and kissed both my babies! For three years, they had been under the guardianship of the Kentucky Department of Community-Based Services. Though they were in my home the entire time and had a family to love and cherish them, that moment meant it was forever. They were legally my kids as if they had been born to me and that is the greatest honor.
What’s next for you and your family? Any big plans for the future? We are excited to remain a foster family with St. Joe’s and see where that journey takes us. We have no plans for long term placements at this time, but I truly believe I will always be open to whatever God has in store for us. We will be back to visit often as we already miss our case manager and will continue therapies at St. Joe’s thanks to their incredible outpatient programs. We celebrated their adoption at our favorite place: the lake and then at the Savannah Bananas game in Louisville as the Foster family for the game! We plan to just enjoy the rest of this year as the kids return to school and enjoy more time at the lake with our family!