On March 28, Wendy and her husband Mike Higdon adopted their 16-year-old daughter Ember who they met in 2021. The family is celebrating the official start of their new life together – and remembering how far they have come.
By Tiffany White
On March 28, Wendy and her husband Mike Higdon adopted their 16-year-old daughter Ember who they met in 2021. The family is celebrating the official start of their new life together – and remembering how far they have come. Wendy admits that raising a foster child isn’t without its challenges, but she says not being afraid of having honest conversations has helped strengthen the relationship with their daughter.
Although expressing feelings can be difficult for Ember, she and Wendy have discovered an alternate and fun way of communicating with each other using music. “If there’s something she really wants to say, she’ll send me a song…it’s music that has helped us form a real connection,” she says. Music also serves as Ember’s emotional anchor. Wendy recalls a pivotal moment they shared together: “We went to a Shinedown concert. They are a rock band who incorporate a lot of mental health messages into their songs…one of the songs was particularly meaningful. I looked over and she was bawling. She’s never done that with me…that was the beginning of her change.”
For Ember, feeling supported by her parents gives her peace of mind. “They don’t judge me for who I am, and they are not trying to make me be who they want me to be,” she says. After four years, Ember has more confidence as her personal growth continues. She is an independent teen who plans on getting her driver’s license and working a part-time job. Ember enjoys art, reading, volleyball, horseback riding, and helps care for her 9-year-old foster sister.
Also, the therapy she receives from St. Joe’s has been valuable in her transformation. “They never gave up on her. She was very reluctant to even admit that she was in therapy at the beginning, and now she’s going in and talking about stuff and trying to connect it to her past to understand why she does what she does. Watching her become who she’s going to be and overcome some other stuff…that’s been the most rewarding part of having her in our life.”
Ember shares her top playlist picks.
1. “Die with a Smile” by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars
2. “Second Chance” by Shinedown
3. “A Little Bit Stronger” by Sara Evans
4. “She’s Somebody’s Daughter” by Drew Baldridge
5. “You Did” by Renee Blaire
6. “Next Thing You Know” by Jordan Davis
7. “Prayed for You” by Matt Stell
8. “Beautiful Crazy” by Luke Combs
9. “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift
10. “You are Enough” by Citizen Soldier
P.S. Even if adoption isn’t your intent, you can still have a positive influence on a child’s life as a foster parent. Learn more about how you can foster a St. Joe’s kid.
This post was supported by funds made available by the Kentucky Department for Public Health’s Office of Health Equity from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for STLT Public Health Infrastructure and Workforce, under RFA-OT21-2103. The content of this post are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent the official position of or endorsement by the Kentucky Department for Public Health or the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.