Story By: Tiffany White
There is a reason we look to spring as a season of hope. Just as the earth begins to wake up and the first green shoots break through the soil, we are witnessing a different kind of blooming with the kids and families we serve. This month, we’re sharing the story of Christina and Brian D., whose journey to adoption reminds us that, with enough patience and care, even the most difficult seasons can lead to a beautiful new beginning.
March is often seen as the bridge between seasons. Looking back, how would you describe the “thaw” from the quiet season of waiting to the day your children finally arrived?
Very few parts of our adoption process felt quiet or calm. We had hope, but admittedly our season of waiting was full of uncertainty and fear.
That stress was likely compounded by the number of moving parts we had in motion. Over the span of five years, we simultaneously navigated international adoption for our girls, and Kentucky’s foster care system for our boys. We doggedly worked to finalize all four adoptions — and then the real work began!
We went from no kids to four kids!
And it was exactly what you’d imagine — complete chaos! But well worth that long season of waiting.
Every new beginning needs a strong foundation. In what ways did St. Joe’s help you prepare your home and heart to help your family grow?
We didn’t start working with St. Joe’s until halfway through a very complicated adoption process. We quickly realized their support was instrumental in building a strong foundation for our family.
The staff helped us navigate the realities of a strained foster care system. And we were able to access support services and programs that strongly benefited our children’s growth and development. They helped us navigate complex issues within child welfare, and remained an unwavering source of comfort, guidance, and reliable support.
In adoption, we often look for those small, beautiful breakthroughs. Is there a specific “bloom” or milestone you’ve witnessed in your children recently that felt like a true new beginning.
I try to find small moments of growth in our everyday life. We have six kids now, ranging in ages 1 through 12, so if I notice a kind gesture between siblings, or someone avoiding a fight — even someone just making their bed — I am celebrating that as a win! We call them “shout outs” and the kids love earning them.
However, our most significant breakthrough as a family has been the addition of our two youngest daughters. Watching my oldest four build and nurture the sweetest bonds with their baby sisters has been the most rewarding and unexpected blessing – and we are a closer, better family for it.
For families who are still in the middle of a long wait — their own “winter”— what word of hope or piece of wisdom would you offer them about the spring that eventually follows?
It’s easy to lose perspective during the season of waiting. Parents can become consumed with how the process is affecting their life. I reminded myself often to change my mindset, by recognizing that any child in this situation has already endured some type of trauma or loss. Reframing my point of view made the hardship of waiting feel incredibly small compared to the child’s experience. This helped me have patience, and to stay the course.
If you had to describe your family’s journey of “new beginnings” in just a few words or one powerful sentence, what would it be?
It’s so hard to truly hear this advice when you’re in the trenches, because it feels like you’re already carrying more than you can hold. But here’s what I’ll say: These kids absolutely deserve to have someone in their corner fighting for them. Someone who has their best interest in mind and won’t give up. Someone who won’t walk away when the process gets too long or too hard. Don’t let the imperfections of the system stop you from trying your hardest to advocate for what’s right.
P.S. Stories like this are made possible by our Impact Club — a group of dedicated monthly donors who ensure no family navigates the system alone. Join the Club to provide a steady foundation for our SJ Kids.
This post was supported by funds made available by the Kentucky Department for Public Health’s Office of Health Equity from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for STLT Public Health Infrastructure and Workforce, under RFA-OT21-2103. The content of this post are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent the official position of or endorsement by the Kentucky Department for Public Health or the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.